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Things I Said At Work Today: Picture Day Edition

It's been a long week at work with bizarre October temperatures, picture day shenanigans, and awful songs with ridiculous ranges.

Today was Picture Day which meant that I made sure students didn't scowl at the camera so I tried making them laugh by dancing off to the side out of view of the camera. I ended up making the kids laugh who were standing in line to be next which meant I had to step up my dancing game.


Let's have a little chit chat. 

That's a cutesy word, Ms. Wickham. But I know you. This won't be good.

Then at least I'll be cute while delivering news to you: You're staying after school today.


Yes, you can French braid my hair.



I went to the choir classroom today to talk to a student and listened as each student took a turn and sang The Star Spangled Banner while the teacher listened to tone and pitch. 

Why are you making them sing this horribly multi-ranged song? I teased the teacher.

He responded with this:

Why don't you sing it?

Uhhh, no. I came to get a kid. Gotta jet.

That's the last time I visit that room. I did, however, sing The Star Spangled Banner in my office when I walked back in after that. By myself, it doesn't sound half bad.


I greeted a student at the front door when I saw her coming in this morning. 

Hi! I'm so glad you're here! You just missed the rain we're getting! WHAT? I WANTED TO GREET YOU TODAY. I WANT YOU TO HAVE A GREAT DAY. 

She turned to walk away from me and very dryly said, "You've had a lot of coffee, haven't you?"


Other Things I Said 

You are a habitual line stepper? Do you know Charlie Murphy? Habitual. Line. Stepper.

These are not things you should be worrying about at your age. 

What are you, 12? You're too young to tell me that you're tired of walking from class to class. YOU'RE 12.

When I get married my new last name will be Hurst. You don't have to call me Mrs. Hurst. You'll never remember that anyway.

No, I haven't picked out a dress yet. 

No, you cannot come to the wedding to meet my parents. Why would're weird. But I like you. Maybe I'll save you some cake.


EngenderHealth: WTFP?!

There are few things more important to me, as a woman and mother, than making decisions for myself about my health. This includes, but is not limited to, choosing my own contraception. Choosing when to get pregnant and making my own choices about having children are things that I have taken for granted at times.  After visiting with women in Ethiopia and asking them about their choices, I realized my freedom and privilege to even use the word "choice" about my health.  In fact, I probably didn't see the importance of being pregnant and taking good care of my health as a teenage mother. I was lucky in that I didn't even choose prenatal care until the 6th month of my first pregnancy because I was afraid of telling my parents that I was pregnant. While I delivered a healthy baby girl I can't stress the importance of what I missed out on while I was living in denial. It didn't have to be that way, either. Those choices I made were out of sheer ignorance of medical facts and I've worked since then to make sure that other young girls who find themselves in the same position don't make that grave mistake. Especially in a place where we have access to such great medical care. 

More than 220 million women in developing countries want access to family planning but can’t get it. That's nearly a quarter of a billion women who would like to have a choice regarding on family planning. It's a freedom I take for granted. When women get the option, there is a decrease in two important areas: one, they decrease the percentage of newborn deaths by 40% and two, there is a 30% decrease in maternal deaths. These are remarkable statistics and something that can be an easy fix. What does that lead to once we ensure that women are choosing their own family planning? It allows women to stay in school longer, earn more money in their lifetime, and raise healthier children. 

EngenderHealth, a global women’s health organization, is working to raise awareness among Americans of the importance of access to contraception around the world. So, what exactly are some of the barriers to these women in developing countries that keep them from getting adequate family planning?

Lack of supplies and the cost of them.

Gender inequality. 

A limitation of trained medical professionals (doctors, nurses, and midwives).

Why do you need all these information? Because there's something you can do to help. EngenderHealth is asking "WTFP?!" in a campaign this September. Where's The Family Planning?! is a global movement that is expanding the access to contraceptives and family planning. Since 89% of adults in the United States believe that women should have this access, you can do three things to help this movement: 

1. Tell your friends. Share WTFP?! #WherestheFP digital content, including the videos and photos linked here.



2. Be an advocate. Integrate family planning messages and information into your work, your social media, your personal life. 

3. Join the conversation. Partner with us, with me, on #WherestheFP campaign activities.

EngenderHealth would be happy to have your voice. They do important work like training health care professionals to provide maternal and reproductive health care and they partner with over 20 different governments for this express purpose. As a supporter, I find no greater joy than helping them work towards transforming the lives of women. Women, I might add, who are no different than me as far as their goals and desires and hopes for a future. More than anything, I agree with EngenderHealth’s mission of ensuring that every pregnancy is planned and that every child is wanted and that every mother has the best chance at survival. 

Find out more by clicking here and be sure to follow along on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and YouTube.


How will you get involved? Let me know in the comments for a chance to win a Social Good Goodies bag. 


Sweepstakes Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

1. Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

2. Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “#SweepstakesEntry”; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

3. Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

4. For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

5. Sign up for EngenderHealth newsletter at the following link, and leave a comment on the post saying you did so.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 72 hours to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 9/22/14 -11/4/14

Be sure to visit the EngenderHealth brand page on where you can read other bloggers’ posts!




I Speak Girl

There are few things in life I do better than speaking the secret language of teenagers when I'm at work. In fact, I'd say that I am fluent in speaking Girl. Whether it's a 6th grader or a junior in high school: I can get them to talk to me. It's a storyteller characteristic. In order to get people to open up to me and speak then it behooves me to place myself in a vulnerable enough position to gain their trust. 


So, when Kari Bedford, a local photographer who happened to take the wedding photos for my daughter last year, asked if I could wrangle up a few girls for a project she's working on I knew it was a no-brainer. Can I get young girls to follow me into the creative realm and do stuff for picture taking and meet off-site from school at a new studio for a photographer they've never met?

Ummm, yeah. Easy peasy. Have you seen the amount of selfies they take? I HAVE AND OH MY GOD I HAVE SEEN SO MANY SELFIES. 


In middle school, we live in the Land of the Adolescent where their brains are not yet fully formed. Where kids speak in coded language and constantly make up new words at breakneck pace. Where sometimes the only complete sentences uttered by them are song lyrics. Where what is in their heads is out of their mouths so fast that they don't have the speed bump necessary to slow it down should it be inappropriate or rude. 

I love it here. It's absolutely nuts but I never wonder about my fashion choices or my hair or my words because they will tell me when they don't like something. This land is where my skin toughened up and where my back became waterproof. 

Very little bothers me when it comes from people that don't mean anything in my personal home life.

Oddly enough, there are times when I meet people who shouldn't mean anything to me that end up profoundly affecting me.

I have been called every name you can imagine. Ever. (Sometimes I am slightly impressed by the imagination and creativity and compound words they create.) (All of them are NSFW.)

I have been threatened physically by students and parents. 

Once, while supervising lunch a rather difficult student yelled, "You are a such a fat bitch!" at me. 

In my most sing-song, high-pitched Princess voice I responded:

"Excuuuuuuuuse me. But did you call me FAT?"

This land is rough terrain. 


Learning to speak Girl means being as good a listener as you are a speaker. The girls who showed up last night at Kari's photography studio ended up in the street, playing outside when they were waiting to be picked up by parents. The street was closed off as are many streets downtown right now for construction purposes so I wasn't too worried about them since I could see them from where I sat inside the studio.

I heard a commotion and noticed a group of boys on bikes had ridden by them and one fell off while doing some trick so I went outside to see. The sun was just setting and I caught them with my camera as they took off around the corner.


The girls were interested in my camera and we talked about my very amateur status and lighting and shadows. They let me practice on them while the sun set in the background.



Once the girls were picked up by their parents I took off and headed for home. My car was parked a bit away due to the street closing and as I turned the corner I saw the group of boys on bikes again. By the time I reached them I made eye contact with a few and then stopped to tell them I had taken their picture earlier. 

"Yeah, that's when I fell off my bike. They all laughed."

The other boys laughed again when he said that. 

I told them I was practicing with my camera and they asked to see the shot so I obliged them and then asked if I could take another of them, right here, in front of me. They obliged that, too. They smiled for my camera and laughed at me when I would say, "Oh, just one more picture! You're all so handsome." 

 We chatted about where they went to school and if I knew so-and-so and we spent a few minutes making connections. They told me who their cousins were who go to my school and I told them who my teacher friends were who work at their schools. Only one of them said he was out of school already.

Walking away, I promised them to post their picture on Instagram so they could see it and, looking past them I noticed a White police officer on a segway. As they rode away from me I heard their low voices say that they needed to split up and "There's the police" which an emphasis on "po". My body froze in that spot to watch them.

Everything changed. Their body language changed instantly and their comfort in posing for the camera just seconds before were now gone. No longer boys, they were men in an instant, morphing to fit the audience in a flash. With just the addition of the police officer who, by the way, had not approached them. The air shifted and became still. I don't know if the sun was still settting or not, but it hung in the sky not moving.

Everything changed. 

His presence was enough.

His Whiteness was enough.

Their youth was enough.

Their Blackness was enough. 


What was just there, this brief sense of stranger trust, was gone. I had laughed when one of the boys said he was going to lift his bike over his head for the picture. Just like a middle school boy, I thought. Bravado. Strength.

Nothing happened.

The police officer didn't know which group to follow and I turned away so that I didn't watch him too closely, either. Whatever the ending was, I didn't watch. I didn't want to place all the blame on him for boys who've lost their innocence too quickly because they don't get to be boys. Kari purposefully blurred this photo for me because I feel like it represents what I could almost see if I squinted hard enough: Black boys who get to be innocent kids having fun playing outside on a beautiful Autumn day.

I speak more than just Girl or Middle School. My fluency in the language of children was tested last night and I know that I code switch.

But I wanted to speak Boy with them. Maybe with a special dialect of Innocent Black Boy. 

Or maybe I was just speaking Human.

I wonder about the proficiency of our world to speak it, too.

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